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Fun Things to Do in Montreal in Winter

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Montreal in Winter is the place to be.


One of our goals is to spend more time in Canada and we are especially intrigued by Montreal. We are only about 2 hours from 2 different bridges into Canada: Niagara Falls to our West and near the Thousand Islands and Kingston, Ontario to our North.


My husband, Al, and I spent a fun extended weekend in Montreal in January 2020. We spent 4 days exploring the dual language city and were impressed by how hip the vibe was. Two months later, the covid pandemic spread to North America and the border between the U.S. and Canada closed for several years. We have yet to get back, but Montreal is high on our list to continue to explore.


Why Go to Montreal in the Winter?

Great question! I’ve always wanted to visit Montreal, but Montreal in Winter? I am NOT a cold weather gal. But Al surprised me with tickets to go see the first North American showing of the huge Imagine Van Gogh projection exhibit that was originally shown in France. I was so excited about seeing the exhibit I almost forgot we would be traveling north into the cold and snow. I say almost because after hearing Al’s plans, I ran to my computer to order warmer winter clothes and boots. I review Imagine Van Gogh in another article in this series, but let’s just say the exhibit was HUGE and incredible! If you have a chance to go to one of the immersive Van Gogh exhibits, I highly recommend it. You won’t regret it!


Al and I have a very fluid, bohemian travel style. We usually plan a trip around a particular reason, theme, or event, and often add on a few days on to a work trip. We then figure out the rest of the details as we go. We booked an AirBnB in Montreal proper and knew we were going to the Imagine Van Gogh exhibit. Otherwise, we were going to wing it once we got there- exploring and seeing what we could find once in the city. This gives us an enjoyable sense of discovery in the moment and helps us relax from all of the planning of our day to day lives.


We like Montreal because it is very hip. It has a college town vibe kind of like Boston. The city is bilingual. Many signs are in French, but people were mostly very friendly and helpfully switched into English when we looked confused trying to interpret a sign or menu. We did try out the subway, which only announces stops in French, so that was the biggest challenge. We diligently watched the map and counted stops in hopes we would get off at the right location because we couldn’t understand the announcements. It was rather amusing as we tried to problem solve our situation.


Our AirBnB was quaint, though we were surprised and challenged by it’s metal spiral staircase to get to the third floor apartment, especially after it snowed. That staircase was something you would not legally find in the U.S. Carrying our bags up and down was a workout! And we quickly noticed that Montreal uses very little salt or ice melt on the roads, sidewalks or stairs. So if you go in winter, be observant of where you walk so you don’t go sliding.

Montreal in Winter AirBnB


Montreal has fantastic restaurants, pubs and cafes. The French baked goods are to die for! The nice part about visiting the city in Winter is that there are few tourists. Service was laid back but effective, and we didn’t have to wait for seating anywhere we went.


As for exploring the city, we decided to walk the whole weekend except for one subway adventure. We stayed about 2 miles from downtown Montreal so it was very doable. That also kept us from worrying about moving our car around and interpreting parking rules. Many of the residential streets are narrow with mansard roof buildings. Downtown had an interesting mix of old and new architecture.


Our first stop was to the Arsenal Contemporary Art building to see the Imagine Van Gogh exhibit. I love seeing old buildings reused for interesting purposes. The Arsenal is a space that can hold larger art exhibits than a normal museum or gallery.

Imagine Van Gogh Montreal immersive exhibit


To our surprise, later that day, we happened upon the Barbie Expo, a large collection of hundreds of Barbie dolls dressed in couture fashion by many of the biggest designers in the world. The collection was there well before the Barbie movie came out and is quite impressive. Located inside the Les Cours Mont-Royal Shopping Center right on the hill of downtown Montreal, the exhibit is free to view. It also got us out of the cold for a bit, as the wind in Montreal can also be impressive.

Barbie Expo in Les Cours Mont-Royal Shopping Center in downtown Montreal


Toward evening, we decided to wander down the hill to Old Montreal, or Vieux-Montréal, that bumps right up to the St. Lawrence River. And when we say old, it’s old. The city dates back to 1642. This is the most famous tourist section of Montreal. On the way, we found ourselves walking down an extra wide street that turned into a plaza. This is known as Place Jacques-Cartier, or Jacques Cartier Square in English, and was festively lit with white lights and snowflake sculptures. This display is an annual event called Luminothérapie, an illuminated display of cheerful Winter sculptures spanning several streets. The lights and sculptures were very pretty. We also saw various groups of college-aged students dressed up in costumes heading down the hill too, which we thought was rather curious and we will get to shortly.
Old Montreal is famous for the St. Paul Street Shops. St. Paul street is beautiful with its historic buildings and cobblestone roadway. It is a great place to browse or window shop. Old Montreal also has many restaurants and charming hotels, and is a great place to explore, even in winter.

Luminothérapie Winter lights in Montreal


Beyond St. Paul Street is the Old Port of Montreal. The Old Port of Montreal dates back as far as 1611, when records indicate the French began trading furs in the area. Some of the old shipping buildings have been turned into restaurants and shops. We chose to have dinner at a brewery that we happened upon as we wandered.


After dinner, we explored the rest of the Old Port. The Old Port is the home to one of the huge Eye Ferris Wheels, known as the La Grande Roue de Montréal. This was our first adventure riding an Eye ferris wheel. The wheel is massive and the view spectacular! The La Grande Roue de Montréal gave us a wonderful view of the St. Lawrence River, as well as an ice-skating park located almost immediately below us. The rink was crowded with skaters, but we happened to be in the Eye when they cleared the ice and brought out the Zamboni. The driver had fun driving around the rink cleaning the ice.

La Grande Roue de Montréal, the huge Eye Ferris wheel and skating rnk in the Old Port, Montreal


Looking out the other direction from the Eye, there seemed to be looking at the set up for a festival. We could see several stages and what looked like vendor booths and food trucks on one of the wide piers. There were bright lights staging the whole area, but no one was there. We were curious about what we were looking at so after exiting the Ferris wheel, we wandered over to the area. We soon came to ticket booths and a blocked off area. It was a night festival of some sort that hadn’t started yet. And as we poked around the walkway, we saw more and more people milling around in crazy costumes.


Well, it turns out we were early for one of Montreal’s famous winter rave parties. It’s known as Igloofest: Montreal’s Winter Electronic Music Festival on Jacques-Cartier Pier. It runs for 3 weekends in January and February. Thousands of people turn out to dance, eat and drink, and participate in what is fondly known as the tacky snowsuit contest (aka Halloween costumes plus warm boots). While we did not attend Igloofest directly, it was fun to discover and see people gather for some winter fun.


The next day, we got brave and took the subway from the stop near our AirBnB to Saint Helen’s Island, known in French as Île Sainte-Hélène and Parc Jean-Drapeau. The park marks the original grounds of the World’s Fair called Expo 67 hosted by Montreal in 1967. Our mission was to visit the Montreal Biosphere, a historic structure designed by Buckminster Fuller for the fair. The giant Bucky Ball covers what is now an environmental museum. Bucky Fuller is one of Al’s favorite figures in history so this was a very special opportunity for him to set foot on the grounds and soak in the energy of the place.

Montreal Biosphere designed by Buckminster Fuller


We did have to laugh though, because on our way over on the subway that morning we found ourselves in the midst of many families with small children bundled up in snowsuits and carrying sleds. What were we getting ourselves into? Well, we were on a roll. We found ourselves in the middle of another Montreal festival! This time we happened upon the Montreal Snow Festival, or Fête des Neiges de Montréal. As we got off the subway, all the families flocked to the right, so out of curiosity we wandered in that direction as well. Taking place over several weekends, the event included many fun winter activities, including sledding, hockey, ice sculpting, snowshoeing, ice climbing and much more. We saw many happy children, and parents who looked tired before they even got to the start of the place. We must admit, it looked like a lot of fun. We, however, were not dressed to have a day of wet, outdoor winter activities, and certainly didn’t expect to find ourselves in the midst of hundreds of families, so we quietly walked away from the festival grounds to a more peaceful part of the park.


A little way up the path, we came to our original destination of the day, the Biosphere. The museum was a wonderful place to learn about Expo 67, Bucky Fuller’s design for the sphere and building it housed, and to get an in-depth look at nature in and around Quebec province. We also took the elevator to the very top of the building which gives you a beautiful view of the St. Lawrence River, Parc Jean-Drapeau and Montreal proper. The museum staff were friendly and welcoming, so it was a very cool experience. By the end of our day, we looked as tired as the parents we saw at the Snow Festival.

Biosphere Montreal is now an awesome environmental museum


We regretted that our weekend went by so fast and it was already time to head back to the U.S. We covered a lot of ground discovering Montreal in Winter. At the time, we definitely made it a priority to come back and explore more of the city. Now that the covid pandemic has subsided and the border is once again open, we are looking forward to going back. On our list to see next time, most likely in warmer weather, is McGill University, the Botanical Garden and the famous Notre Dame Basilica near the Old Port. Though we are also game to go back to Montreal in Winter. Montreal is a surprisingly fun, active city in Winter and we were impressed that people embraced the cold by celebrating right through the season. If you are looking for a fun getaway Montreal in Winter is a great, if unexpected, choice.

Click here to learn more about our other adventures in Montreal in winter.

I’m Back! Let’s Do This!

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I am proof that life just sidetracks you sometimes. You may have noticed I haven’t written in this blog for a while. But good news: I’M BACK! With new adventures, crafty projects, and wisdom to ponder and share.

Karen from Bravely Bohemian in Gloucester, MA

Do you ever get that inner sense when you really need to move things forward in your life? I’ve been thinking about writing new content for a while now but trying to carve out a block of time has been challenging. What happened over the last few years? Oh, yes. Covid hit. My job got demanding. My husband and I were two of those people that fit in the “essential worker” category and continued to go into work every day throughout covid. No staying home and cleaning out closets for us. There was the exhaustion of navigating the pandemic. Then figuring out how to navigate after the pandemic. When I am not working at my job, I oversee an all-volunteer animal rescue organization that also runs a thrift shop. And I serve on a charter school board. Trying to get those organizations through the thick of the pandemic and back into a space of thriving also took a lot of energy.

And then it happened. This blog that was quietly just hanging out online went down. I forgot to update the expiration date of my credit card, so the hosting company pulled it when the renewal didn’t go through. AND I was so busy, I wasn’t paying attention. I noticed almost a month later. So, don’t do what I did! The hosting company had fun trying to restore my site- at a nice financial cost and time on the phone on my part- but they got it! In those painful hours on the phone, I had to decide if I wanted to just let it all go- including my published content- or keep trying until we got it back up on the web. I opted to bring it back online and promised myself that I would commit to working on my blog again.

Back to that inner sense part. Even when I was super busy with work, slogging along during the pandemic, participating in lengthy school board meetings via Zoom, and rebuilding momentum at our rescue and thrift shop, part of me missed sharing projects and ideas with you. I am once again shifting around my priorities and trying to listen to my inner self. Writing and creating are part of who I am, and I’ve realized for my well-being and balance, I need to slow down enough to do these things now and again.

So, yay! Here I am again! Let’s do this! Thanks for joining in the journey!

Learn more about Karen and the Bravely Bohemian blog here.

Why President Trump’s Juneteenth (June 19th) Rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma Was a Bad Choice

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So President Trump decided it would be a good idea to hold a rally on Juneteenth in Tulsa, Oklahoma, home of the Tulsa Race Riots of 1921.

The United States is in a tough place right now. The Covid-19 epidemic is still rearing its ugly head in many places. George Floyd was killed unnecessarily by overly aggressive police officers in Minneapolis, and it was caught on film by many witnesses. As a result, there are major demonstrations in most cities across the country. In such uncertain times, people are angry, and rightfully so.

The U.S. has a tradition of pulling together in times of difficulty. It helps Americans feel that we are unified and bigger when we work together. It also gives us a place to grieve and heal our losses. However, President Trump has done nothing to bring the country together, and in many ways has purposely used his seat of power to divide us.

I try really hard to stay out of publicly voicing my opinion on political issues, especially in this blog, but after seeing Trump’s actions over the last few weeks, it’s hard not to say something publicly. I was horrified when he used the military to clear out Lafayette Park so that he could cross the street and stand in front of the historic St. John’s Church. He then called in military forces to quell demonstrations in Washington, D.C. that night.

And if that wasn’t enough, I was even more horrified when I heard he purposely planned a rally for June 19th in Tulsa, Oklahoma, the site of the most outrageous act of hatred and violence towards African Americans in our country’s history. Supposedly, Trump’s visit to Tulsa was changed to June 20, which is still insulting to many people, but this does give us the opportunity to understand why visiting Tulsa on June 19th is such a slap in the face (or gut punch?) to so many of our own citizens.

What is Juneteenth?

Juneteenth is a holiday celebrated by African Americans in many cities across the U.S. Juneteenth stands for June 19th, 1865, the date that General Order #3 was read in Galveston, TX announcing the freedom of all slaves in Texas. While the Emancipation Proclamation freeing all slaves in Confederate states and territories went into effect on January 1, 1863, it took the rest of the Civil War to free a lot of people. Trying to escape fighting, many Southerners moved west and brought their slaves with them, so by the war’s end, it is estimated there were around 250,000 enslaved people living in Texas. Because the news was slow to travel and the population was so spread out, it took that long for slaves in outlying areas to find out they were freed.

Juneteenth_Origin_General Order no 3
General Order #3 was read to citizens of Galveston, Texas on June 19, 1865, notifying all slaves that they were freed. This date became the basis of Juneteenth celebrations.

A little known fact of interest- the Emancipation Proclamation did not apply to slaves located in Union-held territories including Delaware, Maryland, West Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, and Missouri. It only applied to those states that left the Union. The 13th Amendment later freed all remaining slaves on December 18, 1865.

Celebrating Juneteenth

As a result of the June 19, 1865, General Order #3, African Americans in Texas began celebrating the date of their freedom each year. Juneteenth was originally known as Jubilee Day. As celebrations spread to other areas, various names came about- Emancipation Day, Freedom Day, Cel-Liberation Day, and finally Juneteenth. Juneteenth was originally commemorated mostly in Southern states and went in and out of fashion based on political and cultural pressures.

The History of Juneteenth

Today Juneteenth is celebrated by African Americans in many cities throughout the U.S. as a festival of heritage, food, and culture. I attended the Juneteenth Festival here in Syracuse, NY for the first time last year. I found it to be a fun day of community pride and celebration. Our festival includes a parade, great music and food, plus many vendors and educational booths.

What were the Tulsa Race Riots?

The History of Greenwood and the Tulsa Race Riots of 1921

Just over 99 years ago this month, the most violent race massacre and incident of domestic terrorism happened in Tulsa, Oklahoma. At the time, the Greenwood District of Tulsa was the most prosperous African American community in the U.S. and known as “Black Wall Street.” Once oil was discovered in Oklahoma, Tulsa became a boomtown, and many African Americans moved there to seek their piece of the American dream. The Greenwood community became self-supporting in many ways, and as a result, very successful.

Since the days of Reconstruction and Jim Crow laws, resentment of African American success ran high in many cities. Riots between whites and African Americans happened fairly regularly as a way to keep black Americans repressed. Check out this extensive list to learn more. 

Tulsa Race Riots_June 1_1921_morning_newspaper_account
Tulsa World newspaper issued the morning of June 1, 1921. As a result, many white men joined the Tusla race riots. As a result, the Greenwood District was burned down and many African Americans were killed or displaced from their homes and businesses.

The Tulsa Race Riots kicked off when a young black courier delivered a letter downtown. After riding just two floors, a white woman in the elevator screamed “Rape!” The news spread very quickly, elevated by a newspaper article published in the May 31, 1921, Tulsa Tribune. The young black man was arrested. Both blacks and whites gathered at the courthouse to protest the situation and shots were fired. The African Americans were outnumbered and retreated back to Greenwood. Then things got really out of control.

Greenwood District__Completely_Burned_Tulsa_Race_Riots_1921
Over 35 blocks of African American homes and businesses were destroyed on June 1, 1921, in the Greenwood district of Tulsa, OK.

White mobs rallied and full out attacked the Greenwood district, looting and burning 35 blocks of homes and businesses. Though reports vary, historians estimate that upwards of 300 people were killed. As many as 9,000 African Americans were left homeless. And maybe most shocking, eyewitnesses reported that planes flew over the community and dropped dynamite on the buildings. Let me say that again- Americans purposely bombed the people and properties of Greenwood.  And on top of that, many African Americans were arrested and held at the Tulsa Fairgrounds and Convention Center for up to 8 days.

Greenwood men arrested during Tulsa Race Riots of 1921
During the burning of Greenwood district of the Tulsa Race Riots in 1921, African American men were rounded up and held at the Convention Hall and Fairgrounds for up to 8 days.

Somehow, this and most other race riots were not included in our textbooks growing up. In fact, I had never heard of the Tulsa Race Riots or Greenwood district until I was watching a PBS special last year, 10 Streets That Changed America, and then did some more research online.

President Trump and Juneteenth

And that brings us back to the issue of President Trump wanting to do a Presidential campaign rally on June 19th in Tulsa. Even though it has supposedly been rescheduled to June 20th, just the fact it was placed on his schedule is disturbing.

President Trump likes to speak and act with very little, if any, filter. He loves the attention he gets from being controversial and adversarial, a formula he mastered while in business, and on his reality tv shows. Trump seems to appeal to the renegade, bad boy personality in many people, and the sad part is that so many people are taking his behaviors as permission to then turn and behave poorly towards others.

I get the desire to be a renegade. I am a free spirit and this whole blog is about embracing who you are as an individual. To breathe deep, be brave, and be yourself. However, that should never be at the expense of someone else.

We are living in a very dangerous time. President Trump is using his power and platform to discredit the media, discredit our political parties, and discredit all three branches of government. He acts because he wants to act. He seems to fire high ranking government officials almost every week. We can only imagine how strained the scene in the White House must be. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to come to the conclusion that his staff and advisors are barely holding things together.

And he says what he says when he wants to say it. Thanks to his tweeting and other public moments, he discredits many groups of U.S. citizens, especially along racial lines.

His desire to visit Tulsa, OK on June 19th, is literally incendiary. He knew it would appeal to his strongest base of supporters, upset minorities, and get him major media coverage. He lives for attention. I’m not sure he is capable of even understanding working for the greater good or loving thy neighbor. These are basic concepts in almost every religion and spiritual practice.

With so much going on in our country right now, we desperately need healing energy. We need to reach out and support one another. We need a sense that things will get better. We need hope. We don’t need anything that will continue to tear us apart. President Trump is purposely fanning flames to ignite resentment and fear of anyone we perceive as different or better than us.

Juneteenth and the Tulsa Race Riots are part of American history. They both tell stories of people who were resilient and determined and had every right to be. Juneteenth has become a day of remembrance as well as a celebration of African American culture and achievement throughout the U.S. While some people moved away after the riots, others stayed to rebuild their lives in Greenwood. The legacies of both show the importance of understanding our complicated history while looking toward the future with hope and humanity. But what we don’t need now is to ignore the lessons and end up repeating history.

For more information on Greenwood and the Tulsa Race Riots of 1921, check out these great articles, audio eye-witness interviews, videos, and resources:

*Read about, listen to firsthand accounts, view photos and resources of the 1921 Tulsa Race Riots at the Tulsa Historical Society and Museum virtual exhibit.

*Learn more about The Greenwood Cultural Center and the history of the Greenwood District of Tulsa, OK here.

*Read the 2005 study issued by the National Park Service about the Tulsa Race Riots.

*View this Smithsonian Magazine article containing a powerful eyewitness account of the Tulsa Race Riots.

*Listen to an NPR interview of the last living witness of the Tulsa Race Riots.

Learn more about the history of Juneteeth here:

*Check out this article by Henry Louis Gates, Jr. explaining the history of Juneteenth.

*Read this article from the Smithsonian National Museum of African American History and Culture on the legacy of Juneteenth.

Enjoy this blog? Click here to explore more interesting articles on history.


Should Columbus Day Still Be Celebrated As a Holiday?

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*I wrote this article a few years ago for a popular museum blog. I think my conclusions still ring true- Christopher Columbus was a product of his time, and we should be careful in what we teach future generations about him. And, WOW! What a jerk! By honoring Columbus Day, we are dishonoring many others.

In fourteen hundred ninety-two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

(Full poem below).

Most of us remember learning this famous Christopher Columbus poem in elementary school as part of our Columbus Day education. We learned early on that Columbus “discovered” America while hoping to find a simple western route to trade with India and China. To many of us, Columbus was a historical hero, a true Bohemian, as were most other explorers we learned about. As kids, we ate up that sense of adventure! Who didn’t want to be a discoverer of someplace new?

Engraving of Christopher Columbus from 1595
Engraving of Christopher Columbus by Johann Theodor de Bry, 1595.

However, in real life, Columbus had some very strong motives and not such a great track record. Columbus was motivated by conquest plus gold and spices, two very hot commodities in Europe at the time coming in from the Far East. Instead of finding his way to China and India, Columbus landed with his 3 ships in the Bahamas on October 12, 1492. On his first day on land, Columbus already had in mind to convert the local “Indians” to Christianity and make some of them his servants.

In his journal that day, he wrote, “It appears to me, that the people are ingenious, and would be good servants and I am of opinion that they would very readily become Christians, as they appear to have no religion. They very quickly learn such words as are spoken to them. If it pleases our Lord, I intend at my return to carry home six of them to your Highnesses, that they may learn our language.”


After establishing the first colony at an island he named Hispaniola, Columbus became the first governor and viceroy of the West Indies. He enslaved the local natives to help establish his foothold in the region and to help look for and mine for gold to send back to Spain. According to History.com, recent research shows Columbus quelled several native rebellions with intense violence. He also sent thousands of Taino Indians from Hispaniola to Spain to be sold into European slavery.

The European explorers also brought numerous contagious diseases to the “New World.” Illnesses like small pox and measles spread to epidemic levels and all but wiped out many of the native populations.

Columbus-Taking-Possession-of-the-New-Country
Columbus Taking Possession of the New Country, chromolithograph, Boston, U.S.A. : Published by the Prang Educational Co., 1893.

So, back to the issue of celebrating Columbus Day. Was Christopher Columbus a product of his time and place? Yes. Should he still be celebrated as a hero today and his accomplishments be recognized by a national holiday even though he was ruthless and beyond disrespectful to the native peoples he encountered? I think we should be very careful about what we teach the next generation.

In 1492

In fourteen hundred ninety-two
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.

He had three ships and left from Spain;
He sailed through sunshine, wind and rain.

He sailed by night; he sailed by day;
He used the stars to find his way.

A compass also helped him know
How to find the way to go.

Ninety sailors were on board;
Some men worked while others snored.

Then the workers went to sleep;
And others watched the ocean deep.

Day after day they looked for land;
They dreamed of trees and rocks and sand.

October 12 their dream came true,
You never saw a happier crew!

“Indians! Indians!” Columbus cried;
His heart was filled with joyful pride.

But “India” the land was not;
It was the Bahamas, and it was hot.

The Arakawa natives were very nice;
They gave the sailors food and spice.

Columbus sailed on to find some gold
To bring back home, as he’d been told.

He made the trip again and again,
Trading gold to bring to Spain.

The first American? No, not quite.
But Columbus was brave, and he was bright.

-author unknown

Enjoyed this article about Columbus Day? Check out more history-related articles here and also in the book review section.


Understanding Fear in Yourself and Others

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As I get older, I’ve come to realize how much people operate from a space of fear. People use fear as a reason to protect themselves from being hurt and as a way to keep from moving forward. While everyone carries various levels of fear in their lives, it doesn’t have to define you.  Once you identify it, fear can become a choice. Understanding fear is the first part. Then, what you decide to do with that fear keeps you stuck or helps you move forward spiritually.

I am a big believer in the universe giving us opportunities to learn and grow as spiritual beings. The universe will keep giving you certain types of experiences until you learn to handle those situations in new ways. Often, it’s much later before you are able to look back and understand the lessons. But they are usually there if you choose to look.

Louisa May Alcott_quote_I’m not afraid of storms

Understanding Fear

There are two different types of fear to practice observing: fear that is your own and then fear that is someone else’s.

Start by taking a self-inventory. Write down the biggies, like fear of heights, fear of flying, and/or fear of public speaking.  Then commit to digging deeper. If I am really truthful with myself, here are some that are on my list:

*Fear of rejection.

*Fear of not being enough.

*Fear of being misunderstood.

*Fear of failure.

*Fear of being judged.

*Fear of not being worthy.

As you continue to write down your list, breathe deep and be brave. This is an opportunity for discovery. While you may be aware of the first few on your list, as you continue to write, you will start to go deeper and may surprise yourself with what comes up. Your initial response may be to reject some of what comes up: ”That’s not really me” or “That can’t be true.” Write everything down, no matter how surprising or painful. Some part of you deep down is wounded and needs to have a voice.

Next, take a few more breaths and then read through your list. How do you feel as you read through each fear? Note which ones are most painful. The fears that are deepest and most painful are usually your strongest triggers when life gets tough.

Quote by Thich Nhat Hanh_The Only Way to Ease Our Fear

Discover Your Triggers

What do I mean by triggers? Let’s go back to human evolution. Everyone has heard of the fight or flight response. A caveman or cavewoman is out hunting and gathering and happens upon a large predator. The predator spots them and there is a moment of immediate tension and adrenaline. The body floods both creatures with a chemistry that tells the brain it is time to fight or run like your life depends on it to safety.

Have you ever experienced the full intensity of the fight or flight response? Maybe in a true emergency, such as right before a car accident? Or in a semi-controlled environment, such as right before you leap if you’ve ever bungee jumped? Those are life-changing moments that stay with us.


And that’s the point, there are all sorts of things that stay with us in our lives. We are experiential beings. As humans evolved, we’ve learned to use aspects of the fight or flight response on a regular basis. Some experts call it the pain or pleasure principle. From the beginning, we learn what brings us pleasure and what brings us pain. Our evolutionary programming jumps into gear to help us try and avoid anything that brings pain. Our brains store memories around painful things so that when we encounter similar situations in the future, the brain kicks in and says, “Wait! This was painful last time! Stop! Don’t go there! Beware! Be afraid!” We often bury these experiences deep and pile other examples of pain on top of them to the point where we aren’t even aware of these feelings anymore. Until something triggers the fear response again.

Like I said earlier, the universe loves to test you to try and keep you growing deeper into your spiritual self. What is the saying? We are spiritual selves having a human experience?

I was recently tested, and have been reflecting on the list of fears I noted for myself above. A person I very much respected turned on me, told me some harsh things about myself and really crossed my boundaries. What made the situation extra painful was that I did not expect it. The situation kicked up all kinds of triggers for me. Let’s just say I had to really breathe deep and be extra brave to walk through the last few weeks. I am still reflecting on some of what was said and reconciling what I experienced with who I know I am.

Learn From Your Triggers

So that’s the next part of the lesson: be aware when something triggers you. If you are truly aware when it is happening, then you can choose how you will react. When you find yourself in a situation where you feel afraid, you can choose whether to proceed or hold back. When someone provokes you into an argument, you can choose to participate or not. You can hear what is being said and decide if it has merit or not. You can choose to defend yourself or just watch the other person go into a dither without having to lose your power. Some situations are just about unavoidable. However, you can control much of it by being proactive instead of reactive.

I don't let go of my thoughts_quote by Byron Katie

When you look back at the situation, figure out what you can learn. What triggers came up? How did you handle the situation? What did you do poorly? What can you improve upon next time you are in a similar predicament? If you were triggered by another person, is there merit to anything they were saying? Or were they just coming from a place of their own fear?

Dealing With Other People’s Fears

So now we’ve come to the other type of fear that is worth observing- other people’s fears. As humans, we tend to be quick to point out things in other people. And we can often be mean about it, focusing on where we think other people are falling short, instead of building them up. For most of us, it takes practice to be positive and find the good in each other.

People act out, say negative things, become competitive or behave passive-aggressively when they are coming from a place of fear. Part of them is frightened that there isn’t enough___ (fill in the blank- love, power, money, basic resources, etc.) to go around.

Knowing people are coming from a place of fear gives you the opportunity to step back and breathe in the moment of intensity. It’s hard to do and takes practice.

Sometimes people need to be heard and it’s best to let them vent. Knowing that they are coming from fear and pain, gives you the option to have empathy towards that person. If the situation becomes personal, you have the option of defending yourself (which often doesn’t work in the heat of the moment) or telling the person, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” By using this phrase you acknowledge what they are saying but you don’t lose your power. It’s a neutral phrase, so practice keeping the energy neutral as you say it.

You can also always breathe, ground yourself and then choose to remove yourself from the situation. There’s no reason you need to stand there and take it. That doesn’t mean you have to go storming off. It’s usually best to just quietly announce that the situation has become heated and you are leaving now but are willing to readdress the issue when things are calmer. Sometimes you do have to be firm with the other person and tell them you need some space to think, then do what you need to do to take it.

Understanding Fear as a Mirror

Another thing you may notice is that people often point out in others things that mirror places of pain within themselves. It’s so much easier to point to people and say what their faults are than look within and take true inventory of ourselves. The universe surrounds us with people we can learn from, and the closer the relationship, the more reflective they can be. In other words, those close relationships will often trigger things within you until you choose to learn and grow. Knowing this gives you power to handle things better in your life.

Eleanor Roosevelt Quote_The purpose of life

When you are in a quiet space, think about what the other person said in the heat of the moment or complains about in less heated times. It may be comments about you, someone else, or just in general. First, if directed at you, see if there is any merit to the words and if there is anything you can do to improve yourself. Now reflect on the person who said them. Why are these points of pain for that person? What can you do to acknowledge and support their points of pain and help them to grow through them?

However, you have to tread very carefully here. Just because you are aware of the patterns doesn’t mean the other person is aware or willing to work on things. Timing is everything. And you don’t want to enable them. You CAN’T FIX the other person. But you can be gentle and have empathy for where that person is at in their lives. And you can always work on yourself.

At a quiet, neutral time, you can try saying something like, “The other day you seemed very upset about ____. Is there anything I can do to help you feel more supported? I just want you to know you are not alone.” If the other person triggers and immediately gets angry, you’ll know they are not ready to acknowledge their pain and fear yet. Sometimes people will want to talk about what happened and your acknowledgment will provide an opportunity for healing and forgiveness.

Understanding Fear Changes Your Life

While you can never completely overcome fear in your life, you can learn to recognize it in yourself and others. Recognizing that you or someone else is operating from a place of fear gives you the power of choice in any given moment. Fear can hold you back, but choice can propel you forward. Fear gives you many opportunities to grow as a spiritual being and have empathy towards others. The next time fear enters your life, I encourage you to breathe deep and be brave. You may surprise yourself what you learn.

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