Bravely Bohemian Favorites

Breathe Deep, Be Brave

I’m Back! Let’s Do This!

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I am proof that life just sidetracks you sometimes. You may have noticed I haven’t written in this blog for a while. But good news: I’M BACK! With new adventures, crafty projects, and wisdom to ponder and share.

Karen from Bravely Bohemian in Gloucester, MA

Do you ever get that inner sense when you really need to move things forward in your life? I’ve been thinking about writing new content for a while now but trying to carve out a block of time has been challenging. What happened over the last few years? Oh, yes. Covid hit. My job got demanding. My husband and I were two of those people that fit in the “essential worker” category and continued to go into work every day throughout covid. No staying home and cleaning out closets for us. There was the exhaustion of navigating the pandemic. Then figuring out how to navigate after the pandemic. When I am not working at my job, I oversee an all-volunteer animal rescue organization that also runs a thrift shop. And I serve on a charter school board. Trying to get those organizations through the thick of the pandemic and back into a space of thriving also took a lot of energy.

And then it happened. This blog that was quietly just hanging out online went down. I forgot to update the expiration date of my credit card, so the hosting company pulled it when the renewal didn’t go through. AND I was so busy, I wasn’t paying attention. I noticed almost a month later. So, don’t do what I did! The hosting company had fun trying to restore my site- at a nice financial cost and time on the phone on my part- but they got it! In those painful hours on the phone, I had to decide if I wanted to just let it all go- including my published content- or keep trying until we got it back up on the web. I opted to bring it back online and promised myself that I would commit to working on my blog again.

Back to that inner sense part. Even when I was super busy with work, slogging along during the pandemic, participating in lengthy school board meetings via Zoom, and rebuilding momentum at our rescue and thrift shop, part of me missed sharing projects and ideas with you. I am once again shifting around my priorities and trying to listen to my inner self. Writing and creating are part of who I am, and I’ve realized for my well-being and balance, I need to slow down enough to do these things now and again.

So, yay! Here I am again! Let’s do this! Thanks for joining in the journey!

Learn more about Karen and the Bravely Bohemian blog here.

Understanding Fear in Yourself and Others

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As I get older, I’ve come to realize how much people operate from a space of fear. People use fear as a reason to protect themselves from being hurt and as a way to keep from moving forward. While everyone carries various levels of fear in their lives, it doesn’t have to define you.  Once you identify it, fear can become a choice. Understanding fear is the first part. Then, what you decide to do with that fear keeps you stuck or helps you move forward spiritually.

I am a big believer in the universe giving us opportunities to learn and grow as spiritual beings. The universe will keep giving you certain types of experiences until you learn to handle those situations in new ways. Often, it’s much later before you are able to look back and understand the lessons. But they are usually there if you choose to look.

Louisa May Alcott_quote_I’m not afraid of storms

Understanding Fear

There are two different types of fear to practice observing: fear that is your own and then fear that is someone else’s.

Start by taking a self-inventory. Write down the biggies, like fear of heights, fear of flying, and/or fear of public speaking.  Then commit to digging deeper. If I am really truthful with myself, here are some that are on my list:

*Fear of rejection.

*Fear of not being enough.

*Fear of being misunderstood.

*Fear of failure.

*Fear of being judged.

*Fear of not being worthy.

As you continue to write down your list, breathe deep and be brave. This is an opportunity for discovery. While you may be aware of the first few on your list, as you continue to write, you will start to go deeper and may surprise yourself with what comes up. Your initial response may be to reject some of what comes up: ”That’s not really me” or “That can’t be true.” Write everything down, no matter how surprising or painful. Some part of you deep down is wounded and needs to have a voice.

Next, take a few more breaths and then read through your list. How do you feel as you read through each fear? Note which ones are most painful. The fears that are deepest and most painful are usually your strongest triggers when life gets tough.

Quote by Thich Nhat Hanh_The Only Way to Ease Our Fear

Discover Your Triggers

What do I mean by triggers? Let’s go back to human evolution. Everyone has heard of the fight or flight response. A caveman or cavewoman is out hunting and gathering and happens upon a large predator. The predator spots them and there is a moment of immediate tension and adrenaline. The body floods both creatures with a chemistry that tells the brain it is time to fight or run like your life depends on it to safety.

Have you ever experienced the full intensity of the fight or flight response? Maybe in a true emergency, such as right before a car accident? Or in a semi-controlled environment, such as right before you leap if you’ve ever bungee jumped? Those are life-changing moments that stay with us.


And that’s the point, there are all sorts of things that stay with us in our lives. We are experiential beings. As humans evolved, we’ve learned to use aspects of the fight or flight response on a regular basis. Some experts call it the pain or pleasure principle. From the beginning, we learn what brings us pleasure and what brings us pain. Our evolutionary programming jumps into gear to help us try and avoid anything that brings pain. Our brains store memories around painful things so that when we encounter similar situations in the future, the brain kicks in and says, “Wait! This was painful last time! Stop! Don’t go there! Beware! Be afraid!” We often bury these experiences deep and pile other examples of pain on top of them to the point where we aren’t even aware of these feelings anymore. Until something triggers the fear response again.

Like I said earlier, the universe loves to test you to try and keep you growing deeper into your spiritual self. What is the saying? We are spiritual selves having a human experience?

I was recently tested, and have been reflecting on the list of fears I noted for myself above. A person I very much respected turned on me, told me some harsh things about myself and really crossed my boundaries. What made the situation extra painful was that I did not expect it. The situation kicked up all kinds of triggers for me. Let’s just say I had to really breathe deep and be extra brave to walk through the last few weeks. I am still reflecting on some of what was said and reconciling what I experienced with who I know I am.

Learn From Your Triggers

So that’s the next part of the lesson: be aware when something triggers you. If you are truly aware when it is happening, then you can choose how you will react. When you find yourself in a situation where you feel afraid, you can choose whether to proceed or hold back. When someone provokes you into an argument, you can choose to participate or not. You can hear what is being said and decide if it has merit or not. You can choose to defend yourself or just watch the other person go into a dither without having to lose your power. Some situations are just about unavoidable. However, you can control much of it by being proactive instead of reactive.

I don't let go of my thoughts_quote by Byron Katie

When you look back at the situation, figure out what you can learn. What triggers came up? How did you handle the situation? What did you do poorly? What can you improve upon next time you are in a similar predicament? If you were triggered by another person, is there merit to anything they were saying? Or were they just coming from a place of their own fear?

Dealing With Other People’s Fears

So now we’ve come to the other type of fear that is worth observing- other people’s fears. As humans, we tend to be quick to point out things in other people. And we can often be mean about it, focusing on where we think other people are falling short, instead of building them up. For most of us, it takes practice to be positive and find the good in each other.

People act out, say negative things, become competitive or behave passive-aggressively when they are coming from a place of fear. Part of them is frightened that there isn’t enough___ (fill in the blank- love, power, money, basic resources, etc.) to go around.

Knowing people are coming from a place of fear gives you the opportunity to step back and breathe in the moment of intensity. It’s hard to do and takes practice.

Sometimes people need to be heard and it’s best to let them vent. Knowing that they are coming from fear and pain, gives you the option to have empathy towards that person. If the situation becomes personal, you have the option of defending yourself (which often doesn’t work in the heat of the moment) or telling the person, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” By using this phrase you acknowledge what they are saying but you don’t lose your power. It’s a neutral phrase, so practice keeping the energy neutral as you say it.

You can also always breathe, ground yourself and then choose to remove yourself from the situation. There’s no reason you need to stand there and take it. That doesn’t mean you have to go storming off. It’s usually best to just quietly announce that the situation has become heated and you are leaving now but are willing to readdress the issue when things are calmer. Sometimes you do have to be firm with the other person and tell them you need some space to think, then do what you need to do to take it.

Understanding Fear as a Mirror

Another thing you may notice is that people often point out in others things that mirror places of pain within themselves. It’s so much easier to point to people and say what their faults are than look within and take true inventory of ourselves. The universe surrounds us with people we can learn from, and the closer the relationship, the more reflective they can be. In other words, those close relationships will often trigger things within you until you choose to learn and grow. Knowing this gives you power to handle things better in your life.

Eleanor Roosevelt Quote_The purpose of life

When you are in a quiet space, think about what the other person said in the heat of the moment or complains about in less heated times. It may be comments about you, someone else, or just in general. First, if directed at you, see if there is any merit to the words and if there is anything you can do to improve yourself. Now reflect on the person who said them. Why are these points of pain for that person? What can you do to acknowledge and support their points of pain and help them to grow through them?

However, you have to tread very carefully here. Just because you are aware of the patterns doesn’t mean the other person is aware or willing to work on things. Timing is everything. And you don’t want to enable them. You CAN’T FIX the other person. But you can be gentle and have empathy for where that person is at in their lives. And you can always work on yourself.

At a quiet, neutral time, you can try saying something like, “The other day you seemed very upset about ____. Is there anything I can do to help you feel more supported? I just want you to know you are not alone.” If the other person triggers and immediately gets angry, you’ll know they are not ready to acknowledge their pain and fear yet. Sometimes people will want to talk about what happened and your acknowledgment will provide an opportunity for healing and forgiveness.

Understanding Fear Changes Your Life

While you can never completely overcome fear in your life, you can learn to recognize it in yourself and others. Recognizing that you or someone else is operating from a place of fear gives you the power of choice in any given moment. Fear can hold you back, but choice can propel you forward. Fear gives you many opportunities to grow as a spiritual being and have empathy towards others. The next time fear enters your life, I encourage you to breathe deep and be brave. You may surprise yourself what you learn.

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A Ghost Photography Book Review: The Apparitionists: A Tale of Phantoms, Fraud, Photography, and the Man Who Captured Lincoln’s Ghost

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If you ever peruse Victorian photographs on Pinterest or the web, you probably have stumbled across one of the most famous pictures of ghost photography- Mary Todd Lincoln being consoled by the ghost of her husband, Abraham Lincoln. The picture is creepy, yet somehow draws you in. It is a photo of mourning, yet comfort at the same time. The photo has a universal quality to it. Don’t we all want to know that our passed loved ones are still near and watching over us, even to this day?

Lincoln's Ghost_Photograph of Widowed Mary Todd Lincoln
Mary Todd Lincoln being consoled by the spirit of Abraham Lincoln in famous ghost photograph by William H. Mumler. From the collections of Allen County Public Library, Fort Wayne, Indiana

The ghost photograph of the Lincolns was taken by William H. Mumler around 1869. Mumler was an early dabbler in the art and science of photography just as the invention arrived in the United States from Europe. The new book, The Apparitionists: A Tale of Phantoms, Fraud, Photography, and the Man Who Captured Lincoln’s Ghost by Peter Manseau takes us on a fascinating journey through the 1850s to just after the Civil War when photography becomes all the rage in the United States.

The Apparitionists: A Tale of Phantoms, Fraud, Photography, and the Man Who Captured Lincoln’s Ghost

For the first time, people could capture and preserve- in the moment- images of their loved ones and hold them close even after that person passed away. Until that time, people of means maybe had a painted portrait or two created during their lifetime. For most people, images of their loved ones simply faded away with memories.

Photography, especially in the early years, was certainly a grand science experiment. First, the desired image needed to be captured on plates, then developed with a series of chemicals, followed by the printing of the image. The process was often dangerous, depending on the chemicals used, and time-consuming. In the early days, people had to sit without moving for several minutes so that there was enough time for the exposure to take place. Preparation of the camera plates and development of the photos also left lots of room for human error.

Whether he meant to be or not, William H. Mumler became one of the most famous and sought-after photographers of his time. Mumler appeared to have a gift- he caught spirit images in his photographs. How he did it, he never revealed. But most likely, he manipulated his camera plates and chemicals to expose such images into his portraits.

With such massive loss of life during the Civil War, coupled with the affordability of photography during the 1860s – almost every soldier had a photo taken of himself in uniform before heading off to war to leave with loved ones- people turned to photography to help them grieve. And Mumler one-upped this by capturing the spirits of those loved ones they were grieving.

In The Apparitionists: A Tale of Phantoms, Fraud, Photography, and the Man Who Captured Lincoln’s Ghost, Manseau explores the role of the Spiritualism Movement in America, which also helps explain people’s obsession with ghost photography. As we recently explored in the post about the Erie Canal, Spiritualism started in Upstate New York. People wanted to know their passed loved ones were still close and helping to guide their lives. Contacting the dead through mediums and séances became all the rage. Many of these activities were acts of showmanship and sleight of hand, but people didn’t care. They desperately wanted beliefs to hold onto. Spirit photography easily found its place among such believers.

Yet many people set out to prove Spiritualism practices such as Mumler’s ghost photography as fraud. Numerous people, including competitor photographers, came to Mumler’s studio to try and spot his manipulations. Articles for and against ghost photography were written about in popular magazines of the day.

William Mumler Trial_Harper's Weekly_May 6_1869
The front cover of the widely read Harper’s Weekly from May 8, 1869 describing the Spirit Photography trial of William Mumler in detail.

All of this activity came to a head in 1869, when William Mumler gets charged with fraud and finds himself in the center of a lengthy and expensive court case. Most of the case was dramatically published in Harper’s Weekly. Manseau walks the reader through many of the transcripts of the trial. The trial takes numerous turns as witnesses argue not just whether William Mumler is guilty of fraud but whether ghosts are real and Spiritualism, in general, is reputable. Even P.T. Barnum, the ultimate showman of the time, steps in as a witness.

While a trial like William Mumler’s would certainly be thrown out of today’s courts, in 1869, the case received national attention. It is a curious look at how the court was conducted in Victorian America and leaves a lot to be desired.

I will leave the rest of the whodunnit and how, plus the outcome of the trial for you to find out when you read the book. The Apparitionists: A Tale of Phantoms, Fraud, Photography, and the Man Who Captured Lincoln’s Ghost is an incredibly interesting read well worth your time.


Vote! How to Find Out What’s On Your Ballot on Election Day

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So it’s that time of year again- Election Day! Time to do your civic duty and get out there and vote for your elected officials, plus state and local referendums. In fact, today marks the 100th anniversary of women winning the right to vote in New York State, so a huge thank you goes out to all of the very bohemian-thinking women in the 1800s and 1900s who worked so valiantly over the years to make their voices heard.

I VOTED_100th Anniversary_Voting_Women_NY

That being said, I groan on almost every election day because it’s always such a pain to remember my voting district, to find out who is running for what and what on earth all of those people stand for. Then there is always a surprise or two on the ballot, like this year, voting yes or no on whether New York State needs to have a constitutional convention. Huh? Um, why?

So good news! For those of us who don’t like surprises at the polls, there are some great tools online to help you have a smooth, educated voting experience.

Am I Registered to Vote?

The easiest place to go to confirm you are registered to vote is to visit Vote.org. If you are not registered you can easily register to vote in less than 2 minutes.

Confirm My Voter Registration

Where Do I Go to Vote?

We like HeadCount.org’s Find Your Polling Place tool. Simply scroll down, enter your address, and the site gives you the address and a map of where to go to vote.

Where Do I go to Vote?

What’s on My Ballot?

To find out what’s on your ballot, we suggest using the Vote411.org site developed by the League of Women Voters. Here are the 4 easy steps:

1. Type in your address and hit enter.
2. Next, under On Your Ballot, click the green button that says “Get personalized information on candidates and issues.”
3. You may be given the option to click on additional city or county jurisdictions.
4. Then click “Go to my races.”

Just like that, Vote411 will create a personalized voter guide with your specific ballot information. Simply click on each ballot item to see details.

What's On My Ballot Tool Vote411

The Vote411 voter guide is great because it allows you to see exactly who is running for what and read background information on most of the candidates. Referendums are also listed and include unbiased pros and cons of the issues. You can even practice voting and print out your choices to take with you to the polls.

Of note, some local candidates and referendums do not have background information listed, so you may need to rely on your local newspaper to learn more. However, these websites will save you a ton of time before you go to the polls to vote in today’s elections.

Happy voting and if you are from New York State, be sure to pick up your 100 Year Anniversary sticker and proudly proclaim you voted!

I VOTED_100th Anniversary_Voting_Women_NY


Yoga Gift Ideas for Women Shopping Guide

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Want to give a gift to a woman in your life who loves yoga? Our Yoga Gift Ideas for Women guide will help you pick a meaningful gift for your favorite yogaholic. Scroll down to find great Yoga Gear Gifts for Women, Gifts for Yoga Enthusiasts, Yoga Jewelry Gift Ideas, and Yoga Clothing gift suggestions. And if she has a sense of humor, check out our picks for Funny Yoga T-Shirt Gift Ideas below. Happy Shopping and Namaste!

Be sure to check out our other shopping guides: Yoga Gifts for Men and Fair Trade Gifts.